Parenting is a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs, both for you and your partner.
But did you ever have that feeling that it is taking a much larger toll upon you as compared to your husband?
Do you feel that it’s more stressful for you, compared to your partner?
Congratulations! You’re not the only one feeling the same way, then.
Researchers all over the world wanted to find out why moms tend to feel more stressed out about parenting than dads – and tedious chores indisputably have to do something with it.
In a study published in the American Sociological Review, researchers from Cornell University surveyed 12,000 American parents in 2010, 2012 and 2013, and found that moms went through far more tension, and the reason behind it can be the responsibility of having to do all the chores by themselves, besides looking out for her kid.
Mothers spend more time with their children in the more-routine, less-fun phases of parenting than fathers. They do more solo parenting and endure a much larger section of the burden of responsibilities. Not only does she have to look after the kids, but also clears up their mess later. She also has to look after the family. She has to deal with the milkman, the maid, and the other helpers herself. Add in a bucket full of cleaning the home and cooking food for the whole family, thrice, in a day, with a side of childcare. Now how does that make you feel?
Due to all of this, she has less free time, and more tedious work time. On the other hand, when she’s already doing the major chunk of house chores all by herself, what does it leave for the dads? Lots of fun and leisure time to spend with the kids. They get to play with their little one, go out for sports, do art and craft with them, read to them, watch TV or simply hang around the house. They get to have low-stress activities.
Both parents even have differing sleep patterns. Mothers are more likely to be called out in the middle of night, if their children have a nightmare or simply wish to go to the loo but are scared of the dark, than fathers. Father’s sleep and down-time is much less likely to be interrupted by the kids, than the mother’s. This is the reason why fathers are less tired than mothers when parenting.
Researchers believe that in order to change this phenomenon, a deep change in societal expectations is needed. According to the “so-called” norms of society, a mother should do the household work, whereas fathers can be free to do whatever they wish, which should not be the case.
We need to balance the scales a little bit more and stop expecting moms to always do the tiresome and not-so-fun parts. The world always has a chance to do better and while we’re at it, it’s not hidden that there are tons of dads out there helping as much as they can. They are taking on more household duties than they used to, back in the day, thus helping parenting roles to get converged.
Learn more at raisingbalancedchildren.com